New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
