His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
