Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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