I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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