Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
