oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
