my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
