How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
