It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
