you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
