why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
