The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
