I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
