Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
