she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
