He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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