Dual....:-)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
did i walk over a car last night?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
