Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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