You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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