Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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