i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
