Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
