I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
