Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
