some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
