So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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