just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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