so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
