Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
