Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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