Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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