you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
