Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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