i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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