I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
should my penis look like a turkey
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
