The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
