Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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