1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
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