Yo dont text me then not text me
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
