Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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