Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
