He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
