What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My life is pants optional.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
