It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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