I wish life had little blips of pornography
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
