Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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