i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
