Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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