If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
