wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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